The Low-Down

OK now I understand why it takes new mommies FOR-EV-VER to post...dun dun dun!!!!

"The Birth Story"

Whenever a friend/relative has a baby, I blog stalk their blog (well, check my google reader) until they finally post the story because they fascinate me. Not quite sure why, but I do.

You know you do too.

But it always takes FOR-EV-VER (think Sandlot here people) because ya just don't feel like it.

It's the last thing on your mind because your days are blurs of

feed

burp

poop

change

swaddle

rock

soothe

occasionally bathe

maybe sleep

repeat

oh and maybe get a chance to do the above for yourself while you're healing from the natural-yet-oh-so-unnatural-at-the-same-time even of childbirth.

I don't care what anybody says, something that small opening to something that big is NOT natural.

Take THAT Bradley Method.

BUT we all do it for a reason, right? Right now he's not so much in the interactive stage (which I can't wait for!) but it's still amazing to just watch him and stare at his features and wonder what he'll look like and grow up to be. It's crazy how you can be on the brink of exhaustion and frustration after having been up with him while he's crying, not knowing what's wrong after you've completed the checklist of troubleshooting, he calms down for no apparent reason, melts his tiny little body into yours and falls asleep with you just because it's you and he just needed a little extra 'lovin.

He melts my heart all the time :)

He's melted Steve's too. He is such a little mush-ball when it comes to Parker...so tender to watch.

So here's what happened:

My due date came and went.

Remember that part?

Yeah that was lame.

I attempted all sorts of methods of getting him out, including castor oil which is the new bane of my existence. LOATHE the stuff. It should die a nasty, awful death.

Convinced the doc to induce me 5 days later instead of 7 days later. Score.

Cleaned the house and myself, had a few "last dates" with my baby's daddy, picked up my mom from LAX and headed to the hospital Thursday evening.

Go time.

Started the Cytotec to kick my cervix into gear (who was NOT cooperating at this point...I can't remember, but I think I was BARELY effaced and MAYBE dilated to a 2) at 11pm.

3 am, nothin. More Cytotec.

7 am, a LITTLE progress (dang, wish I remembered numbers), more Cytotec. At this point I'm having contractions but they're pretty irregular and I can't really feel them. Yeah body!

11 am Doc comes in and strips the heck out of my membranes, which is uber painful. I had written excruciating, but then remembered I still haven't had the baby yet. So I downgraded to painful.

At this point I think I'm like 50% effaced and dilated to a 3.

Contractions start getting pretty uncomfortable and I'm getting nauseous. Drugs were created for a reason, so I ask for some. LOVE drugs.

Nurse gives me some goooooood stuff and I apparently went KURAZY!

I vaguely remember hysterically laughing and crying at the same time while talking about Indians, realizing I'm talking about Indians, ask myself if I'm really talking about Indians, then hysterically crack myself up because I'm talking about said Indians.

What. The. Heck.

Oh, then of course I had some co-workers come visit me during crazy time. It was awesome. My mom got a video and has it for blackmail purposes.

Then I passed out.

1 pm I wake up and am having some pretty intense contractions. Like whoahdang, I'm really in labor, this is for real. I get my nurse in there and tell her I need Dr. Wu, the anesthesiologist to give me my epidural. We work together so I had told him a week prior that he better be the one giving me my epidural and luckily he was on that day. That epidural going in was probably ten times less painful that the nurse sticking my IV in. Pretty sure I confessed my love for Dr. Wu to him on more than one occasion.

My water breaks on it's own. Yay water! Now that the pain's under control, they start the pitocin.

I see all these regular contractions but do I feel them? NO WAY! I'm feeling goooood and pass out. 

Like for a long time.

Steve and my mom are just hanging out, I think we maybe conversed in between the nurse waking me up to change my position every 2 hours, but I could be lying. Who knows, it's really all a blur.

4 pm I'm making slow progress, epidural rate is adjusted as I started to feel stuff again (I'm all about not feeling stuff), pitocin is increased to get things going faster

10 pm baby's heart rate is dipping with each contraction, I have a fever, and my amniotic fluid levels are low. All bad things.

They insert some instrument into my uterus that monitors how strong each contraction is, give me a ton of fluid, and threaten a c-section if his his heart rate keeps dipping.

Steve gives me a blessing and we both pass out again.

2 am the nurse checks me and I'm dilated to a 10 and ready to go!

WHAAAA?!?!

Steve goes to grab my mom who was kinda sleeping in the next room, it's go time.

I don't think anybody could have prepared me for how physically exhausting pushing is. 

Like really? My arms were trembling, I couldn't fully catch my breath in between pushing, and it's such a specific movement they expect you to do. I kept asking the nurse and my mom and Steve if anything was really happening because it felt like I was pushing and pushing and NOTHING was happening. I was so ready to be done. My pain was getting pretty intense...

Turns out an IV was beeping, so another nurse comes in to check since my nurse was helping me push. The nurse mouthed to my nurse that my epidural was OUT (my mom saw this happen haha). As in EMPTY. Did they tell me this? Noooooo. Did they get Dr. Wu in to add more meds? Nooooo

Later I asked about it because of the pain, so then she tells me it was stopped. Perfect. I'm feeling these contractions and his head pushing and soooo much pressure and pain! Man I wish my epidural was working...

3:30 am Doc shows up, we push more, little one's head wasn't coming out of that hole.

4:08 am Baby's heart rate is dropping, she snippity snips one snip. I push more. Still not gonna make it through. She snippity snips another snip, he finally comes out in one fluid motion and the first thing Doc says is, "He's huge!" Ahhhh no wonder! She had quoted me a 6 1/2-7 pound baby, the little guy was 8 1/2 pounds.

Exquisite relief, exquisite baby, exquisite new little family :)

Welcome home Parker, we love you so much sweet little man!!!